My Name is Primus
by RealityVisitor
Summary: TF:A When a strange girl pops out of a trash can, she proves herself to be Primus. Things get a little tougher when this goddess stays around. Will the Decepticons find out? Will Sentinel get the aft-kicking he deserves? Maybe...
1. The Girl in the Trash

Sari was really upset. Even Bumblebee's Idiotic Street Races (as Ratchet calls it) didn't cheer her up. She just looked out the window and sighed. The girl wiped away a couple tears.

_How can dad do that? _She thought silently. _Why did he lie?_

"Hey Sari! You okay?" Bumblebee asked. She looked up and sighed unhappily, but didn't respond. When Bumblebee stopped at a red light (according to Optimus Prime, if he ran another light, he will never see his TV again), he felt his door open. Sari stepped out and walked slowly to the sidewalk.

"Sari? Where are you-" the yellow car started.

"I want to be alone Bumblebee."

"But-"

"Alone Bee," Sari interrupted. She walked away from the intersection. Weather Bumblebee left or stayed there, she wasn't sure, yet, at the moment, she didn't really care.

* * *

She walked for what seemed like hours. The sky had grown dark. Soon a new thought, different from all of her previous thinking came into mind.

_I should go,_ she thought.

"**HELLO!"**a girl popped out of the trash can. Sari gave a small cry of surprise as she fell to the ground. Sari stood up rubbing her sore butt. "Hi! You Sari... um... I forgot the last name, but you're Sari, right?" The eight year old looked up at her. The girl looked around fourteen years old with her dirty blond hair pulled into a long braid. Her blue jacket matched her blue shirt and jeans. She smiled at Sari. Her sky blue eyes sparkled like water, yet they seemed thousands, maybe billions, of years old.

"Sari Sumdec," She finished.

"Yeah! Is that you?"

"Yeah... why are you in a trash can?"

"Why are you not in a trash can?" Sari just stared at her. After a couple moments, her gloom returned.

"I have to go," Sari started to walk away when her arm was grabbed. She turned to see the girl had some how escaped the trash can and had gotten a hold of her arm.

"I'll go too," she smiled happily.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I need to be alone."

"Why? Is it because of your dad?"

"How do you know? Why should you care?"

"I just know these things."

"Well, alright."

"So I can come?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Go bug some one else! I'm having a really bad day."

"Want to talk?"

"**NO!**" Sari, frustrated, stomped off. She didn't looked back at the strange girl. She didn't look back at all.

* * *

"Where is she?" Bumblebee asked to no one in particular.

"I don't know Bumblebee," Optimus responded. "Ratchet, you and I will check-"

"Optimus, I feel responsible for the whole thing. Let me look instead." Professor Sumdec suggested. He felt terrible for the previous events, but right now, all he wanted was Sari to come home. The only way that could happen was if he could get a chance to talk to her.

The door slammed open and the missing girl stomped inside.

"Sari? Are you-" Bumblebee started to ask. The entire question of "Are you ok?" didn't make it out before he was interrupted.

"Leave me alone." Sari yelled at them all. She stomped away from the Autobots angrily.

"Sari-" her father started

"Go away!" Sari walked through the door way into the hall. Not noticing the girl was leaning on the wall.

"You shouldn't yell at your father so much." The girl simply stated. Sari jumped and spun around to face her.

"**What do you want?"**

"Just because I told you not to yell at your father doesn't mean '_Yell at me.'_"

"I don't care! Just leave me alone!" Sari stomped her foot and raced into her makeshift bedroom. They all watched as the door slamed shut.

"Rude," the girl muttered under her breath. Optimus took notice of her.

"May I ask who you are and what your doing here?" Optimus Prime asked cautiously. She turned and face them all. Her eyes lit up.

"Of coarse! I am Primus-"

"No really," Bumblebee interrupted. "Who are you?"

"I just said that I was Primus." the girl responded. Her face changed from happy to slightly annoyed.

"Right," Ratchet crossed his arms and looked at her. "I suppose Unicron is a girl too."

"What? Are you saying" girls can't create worlds, races, and more?" She argued. She crossed her arms and stared coldly at Ratchet.

"I thought Primus was a mech..." Bulkhead blurted out. The girl's hands dropped to her side, and turned into fists. Her face grew red with anger. The once happy, glittering eyes turned cold.

"I..." she growled. "Am not a _mech!" _With the look in her eyes of someone about to tear someone else's head off, the Autobots quickly agreed and apologized. Primus's anger died down, but her face stayed serious. "Now, lets talk to Mrs. Sundec." Primus turned on her heel and walked to the closed door.

_Knock, knock._ "**GO AWAY!"**Primus sighed at the girl. With out touching the door, it opened. Sari was laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Sari-"

"I said **GO AWAY!**" Sari snapped at her. She didn't look at them, nor give them any other acknowledgement of their existence. All Sari head was Primus sigh. Next thing Sari knew, her key was dragging her across the floor, following Primus as she was walking up twords the roof.

"Dang," Bumblebee turned to Prowl and looked at him. "I didn't know the creator of everything was so..."

"Moody?" Prowl guessed.

"Mean." Bumblebee finished.

_WHACK!_ One of Ratchet's tools floated up from the table and hit Bumblebee in the head as if it were thrown. "I heard that!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yeah, I know Primus isn't really a girl, but I thought _The creator of the universe might not be a guy like everyone thinks. _That led me to this idea.

Feel free to review, those help my writing.


	2. The Point of the Universe

Sari stopped struggling, stood up with some difficulty, and followed the direction her glowing key was pointing. Within a minute, she was standing on the roof top. Overhead, the stars sparkled like diamonds in the black, velvet sky.

"Finally, your here." Primus spoke up. Sari turned her hateful gaze to the goddess.

"What do you possibly want?" Sari spat at her. She was enraged. Why couldn't people leave her alone? Primus looked up at the night sky, ignoring the comment. Her blue eyes studied the beauty of every star. Sari sighed in defeat, for she knew that if she pretended to listen now, she might be able to be left alone. Primus listened to her foot steps coming closer.

"Look at all those stars," Primus gazed in wonder. Sari looked at them in awe as well. "They look so beautiful here on Earth. It's hard to believe that there are thousands of moons that orbit around thousands of planets that ring around thousands of suns that travel around thousands of galaxies." She turned to Sari. The little 8 year old looked up at the creator of Cybertron. The blond haired girl squatted in front of the child. Her voice turned from the dazed, drifting away sounds of a voice to one that was very serious. "Those galaxies don't go around you though."

"I never said they did!" Sari argued. How dare she accuse her of being self centered! All she wanted was to be left alone!

"You didn't have to!" Primus stood up strait. Her eyes were locked with Sari's. "Your acting like a spoiled brat!"

"My so called "father" lied to me all my life! You never had some one that did something like that!" Sari yelled.

"Your lucky to _have_ a so called "father!" Cybertronians don't have mothers to take care of them or fathers to play with them! All they have is the friends that they might keep if they live the next day." Primus snapped. "Now stop being a spoiled brat and talk to him! If he's gone tomorrow, your going to have a head full of sadness and heart full of guilt, because you yelled at him instead of talked to him!" Sari hesitated. Primus was right in every aspect of their conversation. "Talk to him instead of yelling. It's better on the ears, and it won't hurt you tomorrow as bad." Primus walked back inside, yet Sari stayed there. On top of the roof top, Sari looked at the stars again. Maybe, her father was still downstairs.

Sari turned away from the stars and walked slowly back inside. Every deplorable step she took echoed off the hall walls until she reached her destination, the "living room" of the base. Primus was no where to be found. Everyone looked up at Sari's entrance. The only thing she was looking at made her feel worse, her dad's lamentable face.

"Dad," she called out. "Can we go home?"

* * *

Primus sat in the hall way smiling. As the Autobots were (how the humans say it) retiring to their berths, Optimus paused and looked at her.

"You seem... gratified..." he commented. Primus just smiled.

"I'm not done yet Optimus. Not yet."

* * *

The next day, Sari was busy fixing her room. With the aid of automechanics, she was able to have her room almost back to normal. While she was working on her room, the Autobots were at base. It was almost a normal day. Rachet was working on the make-shift medical bay, Bumblebee was playing video games, Prowl was meditating, Bulkhead was painting, and Optimus was watching the monitors carefully.

"You think they're still here Prime?" Ratchet asked the younger mech.

"I don't know," Optimus sighed.

"Old habits die hard, huh," Ratchet guessed.

"I'm not sure if they're really gone. If they're still here, and they attack while we think they're gone..." his voice trailed off.

"Why don't you ask that weird girl who think she's Primus," Bumblebee joked.

"I AM Primus." Primus stated firmly. She seemed to have appeared out of thin air, making Bumblebee jump.

"Don't do that!" he protested.

"Do what?"

"Don't just appear out of thin air!"

"I didn't just _appear_. I walked up here." Bumblebee gave her a weird look and returned to his game wondering how she had gotten there with out him knowing. She climbed up onto the back of the couch and gazed around the room. "So, whats the Decepticon plan?"

"We don't have one." Optimus admitted. His optics trailed to the floor in thought of what to do next.

"Well," Primus started. "We can't just sit around doing nothing all-" She stopped herself in mid-thought. Then she had an idea. A smile curled upon her lips.

"I'm bored. What do we do?" Bumblebee asked out loud. He looked over at the human, but she was gone.

* * *

Sari was putting her clothes away in their respective places. She walked over to her bag and picked up another yellow dress. She turned to hang it in her closet, yet the sudden appearance of a girl made her jump and squeal.

"How did you-" Sari began to ask the dirty blond how she came into her closet , but was interrupted.

"Your window was open." Primus responded. The frolicsome smile was still painted on her face.

"Still, how-" Sari tried again as she draped the dress over her arm, so she could talk to her visitor.

"There's no time for talking! I have a plan." Her smile grew wider. "I think it's time we had some old friends come visit."

"You just said there's no time for... oh, forget it." Sari tossed the dress onto her bed. "So, what's the _big plan_?"

* * *


	3. Sentinel vs Primus

"So let me get this strait." Sari walking into the base to hear Optimus talking to Sentinel. Primus, who was standing by the door, had the biggest smile on her face. Sentinel Prime, on the other hand, looked aggravated.

"What did you-" Sari began when she was cut off by Primus telling her to be quiet.

"You drove a ship through a space bridge..." Optimus was trying not to smile while repeating the current situation.

"The space bridge malfunctioned and pulled us in." Sentinel growled. He could tell Optimus just wanted to hear it more than once.

"...and then crashed the ship into the lake..."

"The ship malfunctioned as well."

"...and you need a place to stay for a while." Optimus finished.

"Yes!" Sentinel snapped angrily. Ultra Magnus sighed. Ultra Magnus looked at Jazz. They were both thinking the same thing. Will these two _ever_ stop fighting?

It was Primus's comment the set Sentinel off.

"What? Sentinel, you don't like to swim?" Next thing everyone knew, Optimus had his arms around Sentinel, pulling him back, and Jazz was pushing him back from the front. Sentinel had a look of abhorrence, and cursing escaped his vocal processor. Optimus and Jazz were yelling over his cursing for him to not hurt the "human." Sentinel was obviously having a really bad day. Ultra Magnus stood and slammed the end of his hammer on the floor.

"ENOUGH!" he boomed. Everyone stopped. Optimus and Jazz let go of Sentinel, and all three of them stood strait. "Optimus, prepare some rooms for us."

"Yes sir," the fire truck saluted and walked off to get some rooms set up.

"You," Ultra Magnus turned to the girls. "Who are you?"

"I am Primus," Primus introduced herself and then motioned to Sari. "This is Sari. I don't think you met her last time."

"You're joking, right?" Sentinel smiled. "Come on! How can a weak little human be creator of all Cybertronians?"

"You wanna bet?" Primus snapped. Her mischievous face turned to anger.

"Oooo, I'm so scared. Come on! What are you going to do?" Sentinel snorted.

"Uhh, Sentinel, I think you better watch it." Jazz warned. "Weather she's Primus or not, no offense-"

"None taken, I guess."

"-She can still do harm." Jazz finished.

"Scaredy-bot" Sentinel rolled his optics.

"Am not! I just think-" Jazz tried again. Primus stomped out of the base. The Elite Guard watched her out of curiosity. She stomped up to a red Mercedes that was parked on the other side of the street and kicked it in the bumper. She said something similar to "wake up," but they were too far away. They couldn't understand her completely. She turned around and stomped back towards the building. To their amazement, the car _transformed._ From what they could see, the newly created bot was a ruby red femme with green optics. The mechs all gazed at the beautiful femme across the street. She stood tall and watched her creator stomp back to the base.

Primus looked strait at Sentinel, pointed and snapped, "See? I _am_ Primus!"

"How did you-" Sentinel started.

"Can it get any clearer for you than this?" Primus exclaimed. Sentinel just rolled his optics and walked away. Jazz looked back at the beautiful femme. She transformed and rolled away. Jazz memorized her Texas license plate, so he could find her again… some how.

* * *

"What are you guys doing?" Jazz and Primus looked down from their seat, which was a building, at Bulkhead and smiled.

Primus pointed at the traffic lights and answered, "Jazz is showing me the funky-colored-blinking-lights show."

"They're called _Traffic lights_." Bulkhead reminded them. "Your only suppose to watch them when you're driving."

"Why would you do that? Wouldn't you crash?" Primus asked turning to Bulkhead.

"No. The red light means _stop_." Bulkhead explained. "The yellow light means _slow-down_, and the green means _go_."

"Somebody should tell Sentinel that." Jazz thought out loud. "Some one also needs to teach him how to _drive_, before someone gets hurt."

"We tried, but he won't listen." Bulkhead sighed.

"He'll crash." Primus muttered as she turned back to the "traffic lights." Bulkhead and Jazz stared at her. Primus looked at Jazz, then Bulkhead, and back at the lights. Finally she sighed, "It's at the corner of Congress Street and Woodward Avenue." Jazz and Bulkhead exchanged glances. They transformed and hurried away, leaving Primus on the building. "Thanks for the ride!" She yelled after them.

* * *

"This is the reason, Sentinel, that you do not run red lights. It's the same reason you stop at stop signs instead of running them over." Ratchet explained as Sari plugged in her key.

"Shut up," Sentinel growled. His wounds glowed and disappeared.

"Now," Sari crossed her arms. "A little thanks would be appreciated."

"What ever," Sentinel grumbled.

"See Sentinel?" Primus appeared behind Sari making her jump. "Karma is amazing, isn't it?"

"What do you want?" the newly repaired bot asked angrily.

"Sentinel Prime." Ultra Magnus addressed the bad driver. He stepped forward towards the bot.

"Yes Ultra Magnus sir?"

"Your not allowed to drive anymore."

"Yes sir, but how am I suppose to get around this planet?"

"Should have thought of that before you ran into that other car." Bumblebee muttered. Sentinel shot the short, yellow bot a glare.

"Figure it out Sentinel." the supreme commanded responded to the younger bot's question. Then, he turned around and left the room. The other bots and Sari left the room until Sentinel and Primus remained. Sentinel stood up and spun around to face Primus.

"You!" Sentinel pointed an accusing finger at the goddess. "You're doing this to me! I don't know how or why-"

"You've been disrespecting humans, Optimus Prime, and all traffic laws." She stated firmly. "I'm not doing this to you. Your arrogance is. It's called karma. I just knew how it was going to happen." She took a step closer. "Sentinel Prime, you are a jack-aft. It's time you pulled your head out of your aft and learn respect."

"I thought you were unbiased."

"I am. I'm just telling you fact. I've done nothing, but karma is kicking your aft." Then she smiled. "I'm just a weak little human."


	4. Two Accedents and Paint

Two days pasted after Sentinel's "accident." No one had seen, or heard from, Primus. As far as they were concerned, she was probably off bugging some one. The Elite Guard mostly stayed at the base. Ultra Magnus mostly stood by the monitors contacting commanders of multiple Elite Guard armies. Optimus, Sentinel, and Jazz usually accompanied him. Bumblebee and Sari were back to racing around the city with Bulkhead right behind them to clean up their trail of disaster. Prowl mostly stayed in his room and meditated. All was peaceful...

Awkwardly peaceful. The Autobots didn't receive any calls to help the city, nor did the police or the fire department. Decepticons didn't attack at all, and the roads were clear of any traffic issues (even with Bumblebee racing around like a manic).

The day rolled away and night fell. During recharge, the night slipped away into daytime. The next morning, Optimus awoke to Bumblebee and Sari teaching Jazz how to play a video game in the next room with Bulkhead watching them as if one wrong move and they'll all catch on fire.

"How can you _organics_ play these idiotic games all day?" Sentinel snorted. "Back on Cybertron, we were doing something constructive, but what would you _organics_ know about _hard work._"

"Chill man," Jazz turned and looked at the mech with the over sized chin. "Sentinel, you need to kick bay chilax."

"Did you just say chilax?" Sentinel asked.

"Yeah, it's my new word" Jazz responded with a smile. "Chilax."

"Yeah," Sari pitched in. "So sit back and chilax."

"Chilax Sentinel." Bumblebee smiled.

"**Stop saying chilax!!**" Sentinel snapped.

"Chilax is just something you've never done." Jazz smiled.

Just then then the door to the base was thrown open. Primus stood there. Her hair was messed up and she looked out of breath. Everyone jumped up. Ultra Magnus looked at her with a questioning look.

"Primus?" Optimus gazed at her. "What happened to you?"

She took a deep breath and yelled, "LAMBORGHINIS!"

"What?" Bulkhead looked at her. "What does that mean?"

"Means we're going to get a heck of a lot more work." Primus panted.

Bumblebee groaned, "What did you do?"

"This time it was by accident!" she protested. "I didn't think _they _would be the out come!"

"Who's _they?"_ Jazz asked.

"Wait," Ratchet looked at her. "Lamborghini, they... wait! You don't mean _them."_ Primus just nodded.

"Even goddesses mess up."

"Who's _they_?" Optimus repeated Jazz's question.

"**GET RID OF THEM!"** Rachet boomed.

"I can't! They were just created and I can't destroy them yet!" Primus protested. "They already spray painted Sumdec Tower."

"Fine!" Ratchet transformed and opened his car door. "If you won't destroy them, I'll do it. You're coming too!" Primus stepped into Ratchet without a word.

"Alright, lets start at Sumdec Tower." Optimus thought out loud and transformed.

* * *

_"This tower is big and pointy." _Bumblebee read out loud what the paint said on the tower.

"No, really?" Sentinel responded sarcastically. Sari stood by Primus. Ratchet, Optimus, Bumblebee, and Sentinel (under Ultra Magnus's orders) stood by them.

"I'll turn them into scrap metal." Ratchet grumbled.

"Who's _they_?" Optimus asked again.

"Some bots that should have never existed." Ratchet glared in Primus's direction.

"I said I was _sorry."_ Primus argued. Primus looked around for the culprits. "Look!" She pointed at another spray painted building. Everyone turned and read it.

_Whats with the spider on Prime's aft?_

Optimus twisted around to see what was on his aft only to find nothing. Sentinel freaked out. He flipped around to see what the text on the building was talking about, only to trip and fall onto his back. Bumblebee busted out laughing. Sentinel cursed as he opened his opics to see another spray painted message.

_Made you look._

There was a laughing in the distance. That did it. Sentinel roared in anger, "I'm going to kill them!"

"At least we're on the same page." Ratchet grumbled.

"Sentinel, **wait!"** Optimus called at him. "Don't do anything rash!" Too late, the bot was already speeding down the road in his alt mode. The other transformed (except for Sari and Primus who just jumped into Bumblebee) and followed close behind.

Sentinel sped down the left lanes, causing crashes, running over signs, and almost hitting multiple people. He sped onto a bridge. Half way on the bridge, an explosion made him swerve. The Prime transformed to find himself covered in pink paint. The distant laughing increased. Sentinel had a breif moment of what the humans call "Deja Vu," but then sped off again with his colleagues at his bumper. Another explosion (this time he was ready) turned him green. As he neared the bridge's end, he was covered in green and pink paint. He followed the sound of laughter. He raced past an alleyway with a thirst for vengeance.

**BANG! **Optimus thought he heard something in the alley. Leaving his friends to check it out, he transformed and gazed around. He walked down the alley, looking for the cause of the banging noise. **BANG! BANG!** The noise was speeding up. It was until he heard a familiar hysterical laugh that he knew what it was. A burst of fire came down the alleyway from the direction he had came. Optimus jumped, but his leg was hit. He landed on feet, but collapsed from his leg being unable to hold weight.

"Vell Autobot," Blitzwing growled. His red face glaring at him. "I vill crush you!" His cannons fired. Optimus rolled out of the way, but his shoulder was hit. Wincing in pain, he sat up. Blizwing's cannon's powered up with a blast that would surely send him to the Well of Allsparks. Blitzwing fired...

but it missed.

Just as he fired, a golden bot slammed into him sending him off balance. The golden bot pinned him to the ground with his knees and punched him repeatedly in the face. A red bot joined his brother by holding him down with one hand and punching him with the other. Blitzwing kicked the golden one off and threw the red one to the side. The two strangers stood. Knowing he was out numbered, Blitzwing took off. They turned and looked at Optimus.

"You okay?" The red one approached and offered a hand. Optimus nodded and tried to stand, only to fall. Quickly the red one put an arm around him, helping him to his feet. The yellow one walked in front of them, pushing away debris. When they were on the road again, the yellow one turned.

"Did it work?" he asked. The red one waited for the answer as well. It took him a moment to realize who they were.

"Yeah, you got him." He smiled as he announced their victory.

"YES!" They cheered. Unfortunately, the red one seemed to forget about helping Optimus while he high-fived his partner in crime.

"**THERE YOU ARE!**" Ratchet stormed towards them. The the two stranger's optics widened.

"I'm going to make your lives miserable." Sentinel snarled.

"Hey, good buddy!" The two bots jumped behind Optimus. The yellow bot continued his bribe. "We helped you, you help us! Right?"

"Relax," Optimus stated.

"Chilax." Jazz corrected. Everyone wondered how he got there.

"What? Never mind. No one is going to hurt anyone." Optimus motioned to the mechs behind him. "They're going to clean up the city and owe back Sentinel."

"What!?" they protested.

"You can't paint what ever or who ever you want."Optimus stated. Ratchet helped him to his feet while glaring at the twins.

"So," Bumblebee spoke up. "Who are you guys?"

"I'm Sunstreaker." The golden one pointed to himself, then to his brother. "And he's Sideswipe."

* * *

**Author's Note: **HURRAY! THE TWINS!! :D How could I not add them in?


	5. Crime & Justice

"There, I am done." Sideswipe announced. "Can I go now?"

"Not until you clean under the windows too." Optimus responded.

Sideswipe groaned, "Why isn't Sunny helping?"

"He's with Sentinel," Optimus reminded him, "and your with me. Keep working."

"My servos hurt."

"You should have thought of that first."

Sideswipe sighed. He cleaned the remaining letters off the tower.

_Why am I doing this? _He thought. A bird flew past dropping a white fluid on his shoulder. He sighed angrily, "I bet Sunny is having more fun..."

* * *

Sunstreaker wanted to punch Sentinel. The guy was a total pain in the aft, and _he_ had to put up with him. He knew Sideswipe was with Optimus and probably having _fun_.

"Hey!" the obnoxious commander's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Stick your mop in your hand and clean up the mess in here!" He groaned.

_My hand isn't where I want to stick this mop._ He thought bitterly.

* * *

The lambrogini twins collapsed into the couch. Their gears were sore from cleaning. Who knew work would be so hard? Everyone looked like work was a breeze, yet here they were, sore as could be, praying to Primus that they wouldn't have to do it tomorrow, only to realize that they were malfunctioning. How could they pray to Primus if Primus was busy watching _Red vs Blue_ with Sari and Bumblebee?

"Do you guys want some oil?" The voice made them jump. Sunstreaker stood and spun around to look at the talker. Upon realizing it was Optimus holding two cans of oil, he sat down again.

"Do you have any energon?" Sunstreaker asked.

"No, the Elite Guard has some... I think." Optimus thought.

"Then sure, I'll take some." Sunstreaker took a can and opened it.

"Me too." Sideswipe took one as well. They chugged them down quickly.

"I've decided," Optimus started. Fearing more cleaning, the twins paid attention. "that maybe you've done enough work to pay for your little prank." He turned and walked over to the monitors. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe exchanged looks, then looked at the little blond goddess.

Sunstreaker offlined his optics and prayed silently, "Please Primus, let there be hot femmes!"

"I'm not that generous." she called to them without turning around. Bumblebee and Sari gave her weird looks. After a while, she stood and yelled very loudly, "I must pee now! I will be back!"

"TMI!" Sari shouted after her.

Bumblebee turned to his friend, "Whats 'pee'? Does it hurt?" Sari sighed. Primus did that on purpose, so Sari would have to explain. She was evil...

* * *

"I must pee now! I will be back!"

"TMI!"

The voices from the monitor filled the base. The hidden camera had picked up everything. A certain evil Decepticon lord watched as the girl disappeared from the scene.

"So the Autoscum has Primus in their mist. Interesting... Blitzwing! Lugnut!" the leader called. His red optics glowed. "You know what to do."

"Yes almighty, lord Megatron!" Lugnut replied. "I will kidnap this human in your glorious name! Fear not, your plan will wor-"

"JUST... go..." Megatron growled.

"Ves, ve must hurry." Blitzwing's cold face agreed, then turned crazy. "Or she might run off! Ve just vant a party! Cha cha cha!" The two nimrods transformed and flew off.

* * *

"So," Sideswipe spoke out loud. "If Primus is all powerful and everything, why is she _human?_"

"To annoy Sentinel, duh!" Sunstreaker smiled. "I'm starting to like our divine creator." A scream uninterrupted their conversation.

"Primus," Optimus gasped. They raced towards the scream (which was outside).

"Primus?" Bulkhead called.

"Primus??" a few other called out too. A distant scream awnsered them...

from a jet already gone.


	6. A Battle to Forget

The Autobots transformed and gazed around at they're surroundings. The dark, gloomy streets and their scanners showed that Primus was gone. Bumblebee was the first to speak.

"So, what are we going to do now boss-bot?" he asked carefully. His optics locked onto his leader.

"We'll go to the old Decepticon base." Optimus answered with much thought. "There might be something that will tell us where Primus is."

"Do you malfunctions even know if she's the _real_ Primus?" Sentinel sneered.

"No, but we still need to help her." Jazz responded to his question. "Human or not, she need help."

"Well, Optimus Prime, where is the Decepticon Base?" Ultra Magnus asked the young leader.

"It was at the old mine-"

"_Was?_"

"Well," Optimus rubbed the area below his helm nervously and gazed into the night sky. "There was an incident with a space bridge-"

"How come every time we come here, there's always some _'incident'_?" Sentinel growled.

"You're the one to talk, _Sentinel._" Sideswipe snarled.

"How come every time _you drive_, there's some '_incident'_?" Sunstreaker mocked. Hard glares burned the three's optics.

_"I'll scratch your armor." _Sentinel threatened. While Sunstreaker was cleaning the Elite Guard's ship, Sentinel discovered his one weakness: his narcissism.

**"****I'd like to see you try!"** Sunstreaker snarled.

"Enough!" Ultra Magnus slammed the end of his hammer down. "We must find this human. Optimus show us to this _base_."

* * *

Blitzwing hurled the "human" into her cage. Primus let out a "oof!" when her back hit the end of her cage.

"No don't go away now." Blitzwing taunted. His blue face turned into his black, jack-o-lantern-like face. "Ooooo! Maybe he can make us a new pet!"

"I'm not a **GUY!**" Primus yelled at her captor.

"I don't even get it!" A head in the cage beside her commented. "Megatron and I were floating out in the _middle of space thousands of miles away_! How did we even get here? It doesn't seem physically possible!"

**"SILENCE!"** Megatron barked. He turned back to a monitor. Blitzwing left the prisoners to talk with Megatron.

"So," the head looked at Primus. "Why did you create Megatron?"

"I don't know Starscream." the blond girl shrugged. "I guess I felt like pissing off a lot of people all at once or something. That's what's happening now."

Starscream stared blankly at the goddess before asking, "Are you sure you're Primus?"

* * *

The Autobots searched the old Decepticon base. Nothing was there. It had all been sucked away by the space bridge.

"Any more bright ideas Maintenance Prime?" Sentinel asked sourly.

"What about the old Decepticon ship on the moon?" Prowl suggested.

"Yeah," Jazz added. "It makes perfect sense. Only Decepticons can get up there easily. All we need is a shuttle or a ship."

"Yeah, about the ship..." Bumblebee started.

"I don't even want to _know_ about the ship!" Sunstreaker interrupted.

"Poor girl," Ratchet shook his head sadly. "Who knows what torture treatments they're doing right now..."

* * *

"HOW DID ALL ZIS SMELLING LIQUID GET** INTO** YOUR CAGE!?!?" Blitzwing boomed. His red face infuriated by the weird appearance of the substance.

"Well, I _told_ you I had to go to the bathroom." Primus crossed her arms. "I even announced it before you kidnapped me, but _did you let me go_? **No.**"

"What are you complaining for? I had to _watch_ her create it, because you put me in this stupid position!" Starscream sneered.

"Vait," Blitzwing changed to a calm face. "How _did_ you make zis liquid?"

"The way all humans do." Primus shrugged.

"And vy were you going _outside_ ven you needed to use ze_ bathroom_?" Blitzwing asked.

"I got lost." Primus shrugged again. "Plus, bushes are good toilets."

* * *

"Alright, be ready." Ultra Magnus muttered to his solders. Everyone gave a small nod. "Remember the plan. Go!" Ultra Magnus, Sentinel, and Jazz ran inside carefully. Upon seeing the evil lord, Ultra Magnus raised his hammer to strike. Megatron, unfortunately, already had his sword at the leader's chest.

"Ultra Magnus... Honestly, I'm not surprised." Megtron grumbled before Sentinel rammed him down. Jazz signaled the others, but nothing happened.

Outside, another battle unfolded. Between Optimus's crew and a fleet of seekers, they were busy.

"How did the Autobots get here? Where did my clones come from?" Starscream shrieked confusingly. "Am I the only one who notices that _hardly anything_ that _happened in the last joor_ doesn't seem **physically possible**?"

"Shut up Starscream," Primus sighed as she crawled into a vent.

"How did you get out?" Starscream asked. "Oh, you can teleport." Primus crawled out of the vent and stared at him coldly.

"I **cannot** teleport. I fragging **walk**!" the goddess finger pointed out the broken cage. One can easily assume that it was broken by a stray gunshot. Ignoring Starscream's plea to get him out, she crawled back into the vent. She carefully made her way to the end and pushed on the metal cover until it floated off. Primus slid down the side of the ship and walked away from the battles.

* * *

"She must be one brilliant girl for hiding over there!" the orange starscream commented upon seeing the goddess. He flew up to dodge a swing from Sentinel's shield.

* * *

"I'm so lost. Which way to the Autobot base?" she muttered to herself. Primus studied the moon's landscape. Dust and rock. Thats _all_ there was. Just_ dust and rock_. Her gaze wondered up to the stars, for she was suddenly longing to watch over all this and mess with her sister.

Without looking, she knew the falls. Bulkhead, Lugnut, and the cowardly Starscream were dead. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were dying as well as Blitzwing. Optimus, on the other hand, was fighting a loosing battle. Energon floated around the wounded. Primus hated battles. She turned to the battle.

"I'm going home." The goddess muttered. "And this never happened."

* * *

Optimus watched as his team worked through their usual tasks. Bumblebee and Sari playing a video game, Bulkhead watching, Ratchet ranting, Prowl meditating, and Optimus watching it all. The door to the base revealed two gold and red mechs.

"Hi, we're lost..." the red one spoke.

"...and we were told to come here." the golden one finished.

"Welcome," Optimus smiled. "I'm Optimus Prime..."

* * *

Megatron and Starscream stared at each other in space.

"You're still ugly." Starscream muttered.

"Shut up." Megatron commanded.

* * *

Primus watched all this unravel. She sighed happily. Glad to be home, a smile curved upon her face.

"What the pit are you watching," her fat sister boomed. Her smile faded. Primus _was_ glad to be home.

"Shut up Unicron." She turned back to her screen. "Oh wait, I never asked for my spark back, but..." she smiled as she looked at Sari. "I think it'll be okay."

"What the frag are you rambling about?"

"_Shut up_ Unicron."


End file.
